If your partner wants to explore an open relationship, it’s important to listen and understand their motives. This is a very sensitive topic and should be approached with patience and empathy.
Often, people want to open their relationships because they feel stifled by monogamy. They may also be interested in exploring new sexual desires or building emotional connections with other people.
1. He wants to be happy
There’s no guarantee that a consensual nonmonogamy will improve your relationship, and it certainly shouldn’t be used as a way to repair a broken connection. In fact, open relationships can be more complicated and difficult to maintain than monogamous ones — and they carry the additional risk of sexually transmitted diseases.
It’s important to talk with your partner about what’s driving his desire for an open relationship and find out whether or not you both agree on the terms of this new arrangement. Be sure to discuss physical and emotional boundaries as well — it’s possible that he wants an open relationship only for sexual reasons, while you want to explore all the facets of your partnership.
Some couples even incorporate their differing sexual orientations when hammering out the rules of their open relationship, Pomeranz says, such as agreeing that one person can feel free to hook up with people who are their sex but not the other’s. That may seem risky but, when done properly, it can lead to a happy and satisfying arrangement for both partners.
2. He wants to be loved
Many people who pursue open relationships are looking to fill a hole in their hearts. They may feel that they aren’t meant to be with just one person and that monogamy is a man-made construct. This can lead to them secretly exploring outside of their relationship or swinging (where partners in a committed relationship sleep with other people).
If you’re in an open relationship, it’s important to communicate clearly about your boundaries and what is and isn’t okay. This will help prevent any confusion or misunderstandings. It’s also a good idea to talk about your fantasies and what turns you on so that your partner knows what to expect.
Another thing that can be a challenge in an open relationship is jealousy. If you’re feeling jealous, it’s important to evaluate if it’s a healthy feeling or not. Jealousy can often come from insecurities or possessiveness that you’re not even aware of. It’s best to address these issues early on before they escalate into something more serious. Then, you can make the right choices for yourself and your partner.
3. He wants to be free
If your partner wants to be in an open relationship, it is important to understand their motivations. They may feel that they are being held back by monogamy and want to be free to explore their sexuality. Having a discussion with them about what they are looking for in their relationships and what your personal limits and boundaries are will help you determine whether this is something that you are willing to consider. Keep in mind that an open relationship is not the same as cheating and can be a completely consensual and ethical form of non-monogamy.
If you are new to open relationships, you may be worried about jealousy when your partner spends time with others. However, this is a normal part of the process and will get better with time. Rather than feeling jealous, focus on how happy it makes you that they are enjoying themselves and pursuing their passions. It can also mean that they are fully committed to you and the relationship. This is a sign of mutual respect, trust, and commitment.
4. He wants to explore his sexuality
He may be in a stage where he’s trying to figure out his sexuality. It’s a normal part of the process and he may want to explore his sexuality with someone else.
It’s also important to create boundaries. You should talk about what you’re comfortable with (penetrative sex, oral sex, kissing). This will help to clarify your expectations and determine how you’ll protect yourself in an open relationship.
It can be disorienting to suddenly be attracted to a different gender. For instance, a man who identifies as heterosexual may find himself suddenly drawn to his best male friend. This can be a confusing and uncomfortable time for everyone involved. It’s important to take your time and be patient with your partner as they navigate these new feelings. It can be easy to fall back into monogamy, but if you’re really interested in exploring an open relationship, it’s worth it to discuss your options with your partner and make it work for both of you. Ultimately, you should feel safe and supported in your relationship.
5. He wants to be free from monogamy
For some men, open relationships are a way to break free from the idea of monogamy. They may feel that the traditional model of finding one person and staying with them forever is too restrictive and unrealistic. For these men, open relationships can be a way to explore new sexual relationships without having to commit to them for the long haul.
For both partners in an open relationship, it’s important to communicate clearly and set boundaries. It’s also crucial to talk about what types of sex is allowed — is oral or penetrative sex OK? It’s important to discuss these things so that there is no confusion or resentment down the road.
One-sided open relationships can be hard to navigate and can lead to feelings of jealousy if one partner isn’t on board with the idea. If you’re being pressured into an open relationship, it’s best to speak up and say no. It’s not worth the stress and hurt down the road. Plus, there are other ways to get what you need out of a relationship, such as seeking nonmonogamy in the form of friendships or hookups.
