Feeling empty after sex is actually pretty common, even in consensual scenarios. The sex experience can be an emotionally intense one, connecting you to parts of your identity that are normally hidden.
This connection can also be painful when it ends. It can leave you feeling disappointed and depressed.
1. You’re Feeling Unsatisfied
Feeling dissatisfied after sex can often be caused by a lack of emotional connection. If you are unable to enjoy sex as a fun, intimate activity without a deeper emotional connection, then it is important to find a way to connect with this part of yourself in order to overcome feelings of emptiness after sex.
The feeling of emptiness after sex is a common experience that many people struggle with. It is also known as postcoital dysphoria (PCD) and can affect anyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. PCD is characterized by negative feelings after sex that can include sadness, melancholy or depression, anxiety, or even agitation. It can last anywhere from 5 minutes to 2 hours and may occur with or without an orgasm.
2. You’re Feeling Disconnected
For some people, sex doesn’t leave them feeling happy and fulfilled. This can be because of a lack of communication, or because of sex that isn’t what they want or need.
Kinky and vanilla sex can both leave you feeling disconnected from your partner if it is done out of obligation or if you’re not communicating effectively, and if it doesn’t align with your needs. If you are feeling disconnected from your sex life, it might be worth considering couples counselling with a sex therapist.
For some people, it is impossible to have a satisfying sexual experience without a strong emotional connection with their partners. This is okay – it just means you need to be clear and open with your expectations. This can lead to more satisfying sex in the future.
3. You’re Feeling Lonely
The euphoric high that many people feel after sex is often accompanied by feelings of connection and closeness. However, if your sexual experience is not what you expected (such as in the case of a casual hookup or one-night stand), it can leave you feeling sad and lonely.
It’s important to know that it’s okay to need a deep emotional connection from your sex life. If you’re unable to enjoy sex without a deeper connection, it may be best for you to look into a sex therapist or seek professional help to address the issue.
Sometimes, the trauma of past experiences or unresolved relationship issues can lead to feelings of sadness after sex. This is because you are associating your sexual encounter with the negative emotions that surfaced during or after it.
4. You’re Feeling Uncomfortable
Sex can cause a flood of hormones that make you feel attached and close to your partner. When that ends, it can leave you feeling a bit sad or depressed. This can be especially true for people who have kinky sexual experiences, or for those who live in alternative relationships.
This feeling is called postcoital dysphoria (PCD) and it can include feelings of sadness, anxiety, agitation, or aggression. It can happen with or without an orgasm and is common among women.
If you’re feeling PCD, it may be a sign that you need to talk about your relationship and sexual desires more often. You might also want to consider seeing a sex therapist. BetterHelp makes it easy to find one. Fill out our short questionnaire and get matched within 48 hours.
5. You’re Feeling Depressed
Depression can have a direct impact on one’s sexuality. It may cause a person to feel guilty around sex, which can kill pleasure and eroticism. It’s also common for depressed people to isolate, which can have a negative effect on sex.
For these reasons, it’s important for people who suffer from depression to understand how it affects their libido and be able to communicate this with their partners, doctors, and other mental health professionals. This can help to avoid feelings of shame and guilt around sexual frustration, as well as ensure that their depression is being treated effectively. Fortunately, depression-related sexual problems are usually temporary and will improve with treatment. A therapist can help to find the right treatment for depression that is affecting one’s sexual function and desire.
6. You’re Feeling Unhappy
When you’re feeling unhappy after sex, it may be because you are not fulfilled in your relationship. You can ask yourself if you are happy with the way your relationship is going, and if not, how you might change it to be happier.
The act of sex causes the body to release hormones like oxytocin (the “cuddle hormone”) and dopamine, which can make you feel close to your partner. This is especially true when you have orgasms. But if you are not in a sexually satisfying relationship, these feelings can quickly wear off.
This is why it’s important to seek a therapist if you are experiencing persistent negative feelings after sex. A sex therapist can help you understand why you are having these feelings, and find ways to lessen them.
7. You’re Feeling Uncomfortable
Feeling anxious or sad directly after sex isn’t unusual, but if this feeling happens often it can indicate an underlying issue. If this is the case, seeking treatment from a counselor or sex therapist can help.
Feeling uncomfortable after sex can be caused by a number of things, including unresolved issues in a relationship, sexual trauma, or general anxiety or stress. It can also be the result of a mismatch in sexual preferences or a lack of communication between partners.
Feeling empty after sex can be a normal, healthy part of the human experience. But if this feeling is causing you distress or is interfering with your daily life, it’s important to seek treatment. Talk to a counselor or sex therapist for guidance. They can teach you techniques to manage your symptoms and help you find relief.
